Love SO Right

Love done right is sooooo good. Love gone wrong, well we been there.

Love that is right is many times buried deep in situations not so loveable.

Love that's right not going to lie fills me full like no other.

Love that's right is ethereal.

No one likes a complainer so let me leave you with if love gone wrong is your normal, drop a bomb in that crap and move on.

Life is short eternity is long.

Destined For Greatness

Why do people not live the life they deserve??

Yes life gets crazy but it is my belief that you have to start at the basics to build up your "bravery quotient" to a level that you have the strength to not just start a new way of living but for it to carry on to a place of completion.

Weight loss has been a life-long  excursion for me. From the insane to the moderate but always a presence. Like the Gilligan's Island gang going on a 3 hour tour, that lasted how many seasons??

2016 marks a new trip for me. The creation of a beautiful body colored with love for my curves and muscles. Shaded hues layering trust and grace to give depth to this I want to say journey but that is so overused. Depth to this living canvas posted confidently alive in the already not yet.

Too many years have been spent living with regret. Regret kept me from living the life God has for me. No longer bound. I'm free.

Freedom Thoughts

FREEDOM

Freedom between blacks and whites has changed my days. Today on the day we honor Dr. Martin Luther King I am filled with gratitude that is huge. I am privileged to be able to marry the man of my dreams who happens to have skin dense with melanin so attractive. My children are blessed to move freely, not bound by "Whites Only" signs.

With all of the progress that has been made there still a sincere lack of outrage at the white privilege that continually holds back the future of non-white. Black lives lost in the streets to brutality.  I pray my grand kids will have a life beyond snap judgments and violence based on skin color.

Your voice matters.
   
Sin separates and demands chaos. Love draws you in and creates unity.

Today make a choice, chaos or unity?

Tell Me About It

Tell me about it child I got you.
Tell me about your pain.
Tell me about your gain. 
Tell me about the tears, fears and jeers.
Tell me what version of success is driving you.

Lord I am tired.
Lord I am out of creativity.
Lord I feel all the feels as my bestie says.
Lord love on me. 
Lord help me rest in your complete to all my incompletes.

You have choices.
Stay or go.
Happy or sad.
Love or hate.
Live complete or die bound. 

Choose well my friend.

The Truth

2016 I OWN YOU 

The truth is so allusive, seriously what is real? What is true? We filter the truth through our perceptions and spit out a version of the truth tainted by our culmination of brain imprints.  

This year my word is TRUTH, TRUE, TRUTH SAYING,TRUTH HEARING and any other version of this the word TRUE.  

Truth is concrete and firm. Its something you can stand on. Wishy washy words not grounded in truth are time wasters that generally lead me astray in my thoughts and actions. They steal my peace and ain't nobody got time for that.

Here are my non-negotiables that I believe will keep me on task to meet my big audacious goals for this year.

1. Love and serve God with a passionate obedience that is immediate. God does not create chaos.

2. Listen to voices from the committee in my head with grace and patience, they are learning that the old way of the thinking is done now. Perfectionism and negativity are dead to me.

3. Hope and positivity are not just for the well medicated they are for me too. Pursue these always.

4. Give my best to God first, Husband second, Family third, All Others next.

5. Rest is not optional it is a requirement. Rest doesn't have to be traditional, it has to be unique and beneficial to me.

My oldest daughter is in a 20's hard core pursuit of her truth, I dismissed it as rubbish for me. Honestly though, I needed to write out what my truth is. I invite you to recklessly authentically write your list. Please be real with yourself, don't copy from your neighbor on this 2016 test.  You only get to take it once. Start with the end in mind, plan to finish well.

2016 I own you.

PSmith

Just A Normal Tuesday

Looking back over my blog posts I have realized as mess and pain have unfolded like salty waves on a gritty sandy beach I have become a shell housing a heart. Layer on layer I try to protect my heart. Fat, food, poverty, service, hearsay and truth all fighting for the real me.

You want the truth? I am so concerned with protecting all in my life from the torrential rain of feelings that would fall if I were to actually be "Recklessly Authentic." The damage my opinions unchecked by grace could do that I say the politically correct version of every dumb thing that comes along. Fear I declare you don't hold me but you have slipped in.  Over your slimy self too.

A more realistic name for my blog should be "Recklessly Wimpy." Seriously how many times do we hide our real opinions so that the peace is kept.  My entire life I have been trying to keep the damn peace and I am over it. Sometimes people just need to face the dirt in their lives and do what it takes to love like God asks, to be faithful to his call, to rest, to give, to live. Do the hard work so you and those around you can experience not just a not terrible existence here on earth, but life and life more abundantly.

Abundance is such a relative thing but what if we gave abundant honesty a try, abundant compassion, abundant unconditional generosity.

Going into the 2015 Holiday Season you may not recognize me, hell I don't know what God is up to but I do know that he said he is faithful to finish the work he started in me.  By his grace and mercy I will be able to live up to all the things I think others should be doing. Lord help my judging heart to see mercy in brokenness.

Father you are the only one who can say to the ocean waves, '"Peace be still." Over this life of mine hush the waves.

Response to "The first Day" Written by My family of Women

I saw you walking alone, alone yes but with purpose.  For some God reason there was a boldness in my heart to call you.  Reaching out into the unknown was actually a part of my job description at the time, but now it's kinda a lifestyle...... This day was different, guided, intentional.  You see a couple of weekends before at a church event something in my heart was sparked in way that had never experienced.  A brief conversation about nothing and everything, left me wanting.  Praying for daddy for my girls, daring to pray for a husband.  So I called......"Sure come over."  The door opened to myself, Moriah and Ephesia's future. Standing at the threshold of that door, one minute alone desired by no man, to raise my beautiful daughters, the next sitting on the couch watching football with my best everything.   Played out in front of me was a man of action with  the kindest eyes, the desire to attend to needs (wants), an all around aura of happy that was almost scandalous I mean who does that, no game face, no attitude only acceptance, only embrace of destiny.  Ok that was a little cheesy but looking back it's true, there are some moments that define your life for me even as I was in the present living those precious moments.  God was etching it on my brain.  Not going to lie I didn't want to leave to go home that evening.  The chemistry was undeniable.  The feeling of I belong here was unshakable.

That day there were 2 other people standing at the door who have over the years caused many a series of unfortunate events for Dee and I. Insecurity and abandonment.  Being guided by the Holy Spirit overruled them that day, silenced their paralyzing words.  With the bravery of a warrior and the softness of a women full of promise that the Lord knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper not to harm, plans to give me a hope and future, the God fought and won those negative voices I cannot fathom how my life would be had he not.

I knew this was my husband from the very beginning.

Mr. Smith has given me so much, all the little moments about everything and nothing have taught me grace and mercy, lived out joy and laughter, experienced peace and challenge.  Life intentional not forced.