MARRIAGE ITS NOT ABOUT ME

Any of you who have the idea that marriage is all rainbows and unicorns do not have a firm grasp on reality.  What people tell you is true that being married will be the most selfless thing aside from having kids that you will do in your life.  I am not writing this to bash my husband or to get all blah about relationships.  My goal is to confess that I am a selfish person, that continually needs Jesus to help me get my eyes off me.

My amazing husband is doing a new ministry  job that is essentially his dream job, and while I am happy for him I am looking at IT (the ministry job) through the eyes of envy, I am wishing I had that assignment.  How many of us do that ? I can't be the only one who looks at other people's assignments and wish I got to do that.  I have always thought that envy was a terrible character flaw that stops my the person who has it's growth.  It actually can do so much more damage,  it is a joy stealer.  Who wants to be that wife who takes the wind out the sails of her husbands success?? Not me.  The irony of it is that a lot of times for me it is something agreed, endorsed and come to fruition because of prayer, so why are we shocked when it happens?    If we passed the test to have faith to stand for a miracle for our spouse why why when it happens do I get negative   It's about focus, it gets the focus off of God who deserves the glory and it gets disunity fueled in the marriage.  

Don't be a joy stealer, celebrate the success of your man, ultimately his success is your success too.   Don't get all feminist on me and scream what is she saying she is putting herself on hold for him...... not a chance.  God has us all on a journey willingly or kicking and screaming we are living proof that humanity is a work in progress, in constant need of grace.

I am convinced that if I can get out of the way long enough God is going flip the switch and light up my future with success that I have been dreaming and praying for.  So so excited for what  is happening.  This season of  rest for me is a foundational, if I can rest well the rest will be well.